Some of you may remember this story from a few years ago.  Thought I would dust if off and post it here:

​My sister gave me the ceramic Christmas tree the year I moved out of my parent’s house.  She gave it to me in the summer, and I stored it in its box until December when I celebrated my first Christmas in my own home.  I was 19.  Six years later the tree moved with me from Albuquerque to Olympia, Washington, from a condominium to a duplex, then to a house, and finally to the farm-lette where I live now almost 40 years later.

​It is a large tree for its kind, solid dark-green, lit from within by a long tubular bulb that ignites little pointed prisms of colored plastic.  My step-daughter likes to rearrange the points to make patterns out of the colors.

​For years the tree stood on my bedroom dresser, its muted glow reminiscent of the Santa and Snowman bubble lamps that used to light up the bedroom I shared as a child with my older sisters.   I would leave the tree lit all night, comforted by its familiar outline.   After the holidays were over, the tree went back in its box for another year. January nights were dark and cold by comparison.

One year I pulled the tree from its box into a world soon to be fragmented by my divorce.   The pain and anger of my husband annihilated everything about Christmas that year, except for the soothing light of my ceramic tree.  I put it up on the dresser and cried myself to sleep most nights wondering what would become of us.

​On New Year’s Day, I nestled the tree down into its cardboard box, packing it with the original crumpled sheets of newspapers from 1977.  And I wondered out loud, “What will my life be like the next time I unpack you?”  I took a scrap piece of paper and wrote myself a note: “I hope that the next time I see you I am joyful, authentic, independent, and aware.”  I folded the paper, put it in the box and taped it shut.

​The year passed.  My husband moved out, we divorced, I found a new job, new friends, a new life.   The day after Thanksgiving, I hauled the box in from the garage and unpacked the ceramic tree.  There I found my note, forgotten in the turmoil of the intervening months.  And I smiled, because I was joyful, authentic, independent, and aware.    

I had a Christmas gathering of girlfriends at my house that year.  I shared with them the story of “the magic Christmas tree box.”  And I gave them little slips of paper on which to write their own wishes for the coming year. Not wishes for material things, but aspirations that they could bring about for themselves by connecting with their hearts’ desires.    We folded the papers and sealed them with Christmas labels, and I put them in an envelope.  After New Year’s, I slipped the envelope in the box and packed up the tree.

​The following year we gathered again and I handed out the little notes to each friend.  Privately we read our aspirations for our lives and pondered what had transpired, which often wasn't quite what we expected.  And once again we wrote ourselves messages and sealed them away in the magic box until the next year.  We continued the tradition for several years. If a friend moved away, I mailed her wish to her in a Christmas card.

​A few years later, I remarried.  The ceramic tree found a new place in the house where I now live with my husband and two step-children.  The Christmas gatherings of girlfriends ended.  And I introduced my new family to the magic Christmas tree box.  I tried to explain to the kids how the magic works, that it isn’t like sending a letter to Santa Claus.  That it has more to do with believing something about yourself and creating the intention to experience that belief.   It isn’t a prayer--it’s an expression of faith that you already possess the qualities you need to achieve your dream.  Like Dorothy, you already have the ruby slippers—you just have to decide it’s time to go home. 

In recent years, I discovered the wisdom of horses, became a certified life coach, and started my own business.  With my clients, I co-create a relationship that allows both of us to rediscover and embrace our unique gifts and use them to experience life with joy and wonder.  And every year when I open the box and unpack the ceramic tree, I feel  the magic and power of aspiration, intention, and Christmas wishes.
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I hope this story inspires you to start your own tradition of creating a Christmas wish, finding a magical place to store it, and trusting that next year you will see the results of your intention.  Remember:   Allow for the possibility that things are not what they seem.  

Donna

​Throughout my life, I have experienced feelings of inadequacy, of believing that somehow I was just not good enough. I thought if I tried hard to be the best at whatever I tackled and won the approval of others,  I could be happy.  But that external approval, the pat on the head, never seemed to last.  There was always one more thing to prove—THEN I would be happy.  The older I got, the harder it was to remember what I wanted, what gave me joy.  And I realized that lots of other people suffer from a lack of self-worth and are unable to remember their own heart-song. 

​Being present might seem hard sometimes, but it’s the best way to move from feeling stuck to becoming unstuck.  It’s the best place from which to make decisions about moving forward towards whatever goal you are trying to reach.   Being present helps you see when to take action and when to stay still, to discern which emotions are really yours and which ones might be someone else’s.
 
So maybe reconnecting to your own source of well-being sounds mysterious, unattainable, or even irrelevant.  How can coaching help?
 

​What Do I Do?
 
Everyone possesses their own ability to find their way towards whatever goal they seek.  That’s the fundamental belief in coaching: you come to a coaching session as a creative, resourceful, and whole human being.  YOU are the expert on your own experience, your own skills, your own voice, your own goals--not the coach. 
 
But often we can’t hear our own voice because it gets drowned out by the critics, both external and internal.  In order to hear your own creative and resourceful voice, you need a safe environment.  A safe space where you can discover, explore, and experiment without fretting about someone else’s agenda or judgment.  Where you can hear the song your heart has been singing all along.

​That’s what coaching is.  An effective coach won’t tell you what to do, won’t solve your problems, and won’t try to “fix” you.
 
When you hire me as your life coach, we will co-create a safe “container” together where YOU decide what’s important, what you want to achieve, and how you will get there.  I will listen beneath your stories for your gifts, your talents, your desires, for the things you used to be interested in before you were told you were no good at them.  I will remember the things that you say are important when you forget them.   I will remind you to breathe if things get difficult. I will ask you, “Is that true…” and “What if….” and “How will you…” and you can explore the scary edges of those possibilities.  You can be curious and experiment without the fear of being judged. 

​So What Is a Coaching Session Like? 
 
I will coach you in person, on the phone, or via Skype or FaceTime, so it doesn’t matter where you are physically located.  It will take a session or two for us to co-create a sense of connectedness and trust and to fully establish what you want to explore.  Then together we will create an agreement for our coaching relationship.

​I have my own style of connecting the dots of horse wisdom, spirituality, humor, neuroscience, and the natural world to help you see the wonder of it all and to feel creative and resourceful about your goals.  I emphasize breathing and paying attention to any messages that may be coming to you from your body—not just your mind, but also from your heart and gut.  And I will ask questions to see if there’s a different story in play, some unseen belief running in the background that’s preventing you from finding a new path forward.  There’s no right or wrong to it, no judgment about it—just the possibility that things are not quite what you think they are.  I listen and create a safe space for you, inviting you to be curious about it all--even the stuff that’s uncomfortable.
 

Whether we work together for a day or a year, you will have a companion on your journey back to what really matters to you, to the “you” who so often gets lost beneath the critical internal voices, the judgments of others, and just the overwhelming busy-ness of modern life.  
 
If this sounds like something you’d like to experience, give me a call.  We can set up a complementary session to explore your path back to the source of your well-being:  YOU

Donna